Rakuda
by Akira Tosiyama
Summary: What if Edward had broken up with Bella, but stayed in Forks? Chapter 2 is updated!
1. Chapter 1

**Rakuda**

Akira Tosiyama

This is a Twilight/New Moon fanfic. It takes place in the time period that would be New Moon after the birthday party incident, so you could think of it as an alternate New Moon. The title has meaning to me, but few other people would get it. I do not own any of the characters within this story. From Bella's POV.

**Chapter 1**

Something was horribly wrong with Edward. I realized that as soon as I woke up and found that he wasn't there. I found a note, "Something came up. I'll see you at school. Edward"

Was he still thinking of the birthday party? Didn't he realize I completely forgave him and all his family? I rushed through my before school activities, eating so fast I slopped milk all over the table. Climbing into my truck, I wished it could go faster.

I pulled into the school parking lot, expecting him to be leaning against his Volvo, as usual. He wasn't there. I hurried to my first class, praying he would be lounging in his seat, waiting for me.

He was there, but he seemed to barely notice when I walked in. He ignored me. All day. He didn't say a word to me. After school, he finally came up to me. "Will you be at home tonight?"

"Of course I will be. Are you going to come over?"

"I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk." Edward's eyes were strangely avoiding mine, looking anywhere but at me.

"Sure."

Sitting at home, waiting for him to come over, was possibly the longest hour of my life. I spent it imagining what he wanted. Maybe we would have to move now, just he and I, away from Jasper, at least for a while.

Finally, a knock at the door. I jumped up eagerly.

"Bella." He said cordially, still avoiding my eyes.

"Edward, what's the matter?"

"Let's walk." He walked away.

Confused, I followed him. Why didn't he want to look at me? Why did he seem to be avoiding touching me? What was wrong?

He walked on, always a few steps in front of me, carefully maintaining his distance. We walked out of town, into the woods. After I had gotten thoroughly lost, he stopped, turning to face me, but still not looking at me.

"Bella. Sit down."

I slowly sunk down to the moss covered ground.

"Bella, this is hard. Our… relationship is too awkward for me, or you, to maintain. I hate putting you in danger. I think it would be better if we stopped this."

What? My head started spiraling out of control. "Wha…What?"

"Bella, let me put in terms you might understand. I'm breaking up with you."

Those words made no sense. What had brought around this sudden change? "If this is about what Jasper did, Edward, it's fine! I'm fine, I'm alive, aren't I?"

"And if it happens again?"

"You'll be there, just like you were this time." I said, not following his logic.

"Bella, I feel guilty for leading you on."

Leading me on? Does… does he not love me? "Leading me… on?"

Edward sighed, turning those gorgeous golden eyes toward the heavens. "Bella, I don't love you."

I felt like a bomb had gone off in my very soul, tearing me to shreds. He… didn't love me?

"Bella, I'm sorry. You are a smart, funny young woman, but I don't love you." He finally looked at me, and his eyes made me believe. They looked frozen over. They held no love for me. "Go home, Bella."

"You're… leaving?" This fact seemed to make it that much worse.

"We aren't leaving town. We still have high school to finish." He scoffed.

That gave me hope. I could still look at him. But was that a good thing, if I couldn't be with him?

"Go home, Bella." He repeated before disappearing into the trees.

But I didn't. I curled into a small ball, to shocked to even cry. I didn't even notice when it started to rain.

Later, I heard voices calling me. And suddenly, he was there.

"Edward?" I said weakly, hoping he had come to his senses.

"I told you to go home." He lifted me up.

"Where…?"

"I'm taking you to Charlie." His eyes were still frozen.

I don't remember even getting home that night. I woke the next morning, hoping it had been a nightmare, realizing it hadn't been when Charlie asked if I had gotten lost.

"Lost… yeah." I whispered.

"Bells, you okay?" Charlie asked, concerned.

"Yes. I have to go to school." I said robotically. I gathered my things and drove to school.

He was in class, staring straight ahead at the teacher. The sight of his ice-cold eyes made the gaping hole inside me rupture open with intensity. I sat in my desk, put my head down, and cried silently. He patted my shoulder once, fleetingly.

"I'm sorry, Bella. But it's for the best."

Best for who? Him? But I couldn't be mad at him. Despite what he'd done to me, I loved him dearly. I couldn't blame him, couldn't be angry, I couldn't even think one angry word about him.

Lunch was horrible. Sitting at the table, trying not to think about how he used to sit with his arm around me, when he was right across the room. Looking at him hurt even worse. Alice wasn't there. He was alone, with his nose buried in a book. He didn't look up once.

Mike, Angela, and Jess tried to get me to tell me what was wrong, to figure out why we weren't sitting together. Mike and Angela gave me some space after they realized it was hurting me, but they had to drag Jess away.

The rest of my classes with him were the same. He looked away from me the whole time. He didn't say a word to me.

That night, I really sobbed for the first time in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Rakuda**

Akira Tosiyama

Sorry 'bout the one word chapter for a bit there, but I ran out of time and, well, I felt like posting it. So now I will expound.

I still don't own any of the characters or settings in this fanfic.

**Chapter 2**

February

February passed in a haze. Every day, I would go to school, and every day I would have that hole in my stomach ripped open again, as I had to look at his frozen eyes, his perfect features, and remember that he didn't love me.

I found out why Alice wasn't there. She had "graduated early". I wondered if Edward had made her stay away, so he didn't even have to associate with me any more. The thought almost made me burst into tears.

Every night, sitting at home, I thought of him. Was he thinking of me? I tried to hide my emotions, but Charlie could tell something was wrong.

"Bells, hon," he started one day. "Billy and Jacob are coming over for dinner. I thought it might perk you up a bit."

Jacob. I hadn't seen him in months. "Okay, dad. What should I fix for dinner?"

"Oh, I thought I would just order some pizza, so you don't have to slave away in the kitchen." He shrugged.

"Oh, okay."

It was a Friday. I went to school, trying to keep from looking at him, but I couldn't. I loved him too much. Looking at him hurt, but not as much as _not_ looking at him would. He never looked at me.

That night, after a short shift at the Newtons' store, I got home just as Jacob pulled up and helped his dad out of the car.

"Bella!" He exclaimed, ecstatic to see me.

"Jacob! I haven't seen you in forever!" I said, looking up at him. "And you just never stop growing, do you?"

He laughed. "Nope."

I relaxed, almost putting Edward out of my head. I'd almost forgotten that Jacob was my best friend. Just being around him seemed to put a patch over a tiny part of that hole in my soul.

I sensed Charlie had said something to Billy about Edward not being around so much, because Jacob didn't ask. For that, I was grateful. He seemed to pick up on the fact that I didn't want to talk about it. We ate our pizza quickly, then watched "the game" with our fathers, making fun of the players in hushed tones.

Charlie turned to us during a commercial break. "Alright, you two, if you're just going to sit here and make fun of the game, why don't you go do something else. Drive into town and see a movie or something." He half growled.

"Okay, dad. Sorry." I said sheepishly.

We drove to the nearest movie theater, half an hour's drive away. Jacob made me let him drive, showing off his newly acquired license. He turned off the radio as soon as we got in the car, shooting a quick glance at me to see if that was what I wanted.

"Thanks." I whispered.

He hesitated. "Bella, what did he do to you?"

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. "He… he doesn't lo-" I choked on the word, feeling the gaping hole opening.

Jake's eyes widened, alarmed. "We don't have to talk about it. Um… what movie should we see?"

I started breathing again, hugging myself tightly. "I don't even know what's playing."

"Um, there's a comedy about some people studying monkeys, a kid's movie about some muffin soldiers, and a horror movie about vampires." Jacob said.

Vampires. That one word made me go into meltdown. I curled into a ball as best I could in the car and started crying.

"Bells? Bella, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" He had that alarmed tone in his voice again. I felt the car pull over and stop. His large, warm hand started patting my back. "Bella, are you okay?"

I shook my head. "He was going to… take me to that movie. We'd been looking forward to it for months." I lied quickly, unconvincingly.

I could practically hear the quizzical look on his face forming. "Okay, maybe we could just go… get some ice cream." He said.

"Yeah. That'd be good." I said, shaking.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked again.

I took that moment to re-evaluate my recent life. No, I was not okay. But I was better then I had been ten seconds earlier.

"I think I will be, Jake. I think."


End file.
